You'd think that blogging as a job would make me not want to blog for fun. You'd partly be right. But at the same time, the blogging I do for my job is totally appropriate and logical and never ever shocking...that gets old really fast. I am nothing if not inappropriate, shocking and illogical.
The kids are all in school this year. Which. Is. Bleeping. Awesome. I love them and miss them and still find a place inside me that whoops for joy each morning when the school bus pulls away from the house. Because we all know I'm not the better mom.
So what do you do when you suddenly have free time during the day for 180 days at a pop? You pawn your kids off on a grandparent for the weekend and go away for even MORE kid free time. And this is because you have figured out that absence really does make the heart grow fonder. And also because more is always better. And also because, you're not a better mom.
So last weekend Mr. Drug and I dumped off our offspring at Grandma's house and hightailed it out of town. We went to Las Vegas with 5 other couples. Because we are jetsetters like that. We go to Las Vegas every year together with these people. Mostly because by some miracle we found 5 other couples a few years ago that we actually like. That's easier said than done....I challenge you to try it.
Anyway, there we were, in the great bustling city of Las Vegas, and we had all the time in the world to do whatever we wanted, like shop or gamble or catch a good nudie show. But we didn't. Instead we did something called this:
CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY
Holy Bleep Batman!
If you have not tried this thing called CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY than you just have not lived. And if you have tried it and think it is inappropriate and wrong and uncouth, than you would not have made the cut of one of the five couples who we allow to grace us with their presence for a whole weekend at a time. So if that is you, well, I'm sorry. #NOTTAKINGAPPLICATIONS
Let me describe this game. You get to laugh at really inappropriate things. Things like "WET DREAMS" and "KIDS WITH ASS PROBLEMS" or "BATMAN POKING HOLES IN CONDOMS" and best yet...you can make the most prudish person in your group say things out loud that they would NEVER normally say like, "MASTURBATION" or "LICKING A BIG HEAD"
And there is something so insanely satisfying about hearing people say those things out loud. Really, if we all took a weekend and talked about these things I am convinced that the world would be a better place. CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY might actually be a vehicle for world peace. I am not kidding. I challenge you all to gather up some friends and make them use "KIDS WITH ASS PROBLEMS" as the solution to the question. It is so wrong, and yes, so inappropriate...but it IS THE SOLUTION.
I wonder what would happen if we made a cross section of the world's population play CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY with each other. My 'shot in the dark' guess, is that they'd laugh so hard they'd forget to be Bleepin' Bleeps' for awhile. No one can say that the answer to the question is: TWO MIDGETS SHITTING INTO A BUCKET, and still want to blow up the other guy. Maybe we could force an obligatory twice monthly session of CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY in certain volatile world areas.
And the nations lived in peace
If you are a better mom than me you are probably thinking that no 'good mom' would be able to laugh at KIDS WITH ASS PROBLEMS. You'd also probably think that using it to solve world problems is the dumbest bleepin' idea you've ever heard. You'd probably be right. But you know what? CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY proves that being the better mom is bleeping boring. Don''t be boring. Be a vehicle for world peace.
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