Magic Ad Nauseum

If you like watching your kids do magic then something is wrong with you

I’m not a totally terrible mother…if one of my kids wants to sing a song they made up or show me a puppet play where the lead characters are the tv remote and a tampon, I’ll give them my undivided attention until my ears or eyes bleed.  But for some reason, the phrase, “Hey mom watch me do some magic tricks” is enough to send me to the looney bin. 

Maybe it’s because when I was a kid, I bought this trick at a magic store.  It was a disappearing ball trick that was supposed to be “so easy anyone could do it”, but the directions were in Chinese and I never figured it out.  Talk about frustrating. Honestly though, even with legible directions I’m reasonably sure my kids wouldn’t be good at magic …in fact I’m  pretty sure they suck.  Their tricks involve lots of complex steps and I have to close and open my eyes on command…something that seems suspicious to me.  Maybe watching my kids do magic makes me feel put on the spot, because they routinely test my understanding of object permanence and ability to follow directions:

“Mom which hand do you think the ball is in now?”  or “Mom  you’re supposed to say, “WHERE DID PENELOPE GO?” 

A better mom than me would laugh and pick the wrong hand, or say, “Oh my, I have NO IDEA where Penelope went,” but I’m not that mom.  What I’m really thinking, is,

“If you aren’t going to go Criss Angel on me, swallow a quarter and then cut it out of your arm... I ain’t interested.”




Don't bother me until you can do THIS.....

Rest assured better moms, I don’t REALLY say that.  What I REALLY say is this:

“Go show daddy that trick, he LOVES magic.

Sometimes the art of making something disappear is a skill that improves with age.